Telling your child about autism is the first step. Build confidence with positive framing, self-advocacy, and Asian parents' insights.
Once you’ve told your child about their autism diagnosis, the next step is helping them embrace it. Empowering children involves reframing their diagnosis positively, teaching self-advocacy, and providing tools to navigate a neurotypical world. We’ll explore strategies and real-life insights from two families in Asia —Dani Jonsson and Borja Sanchez—who have taken unique approaches to empowering their autistic children.
Teens and young adults greatly benefit from being told about their autism diagnosis early. Dr. Amber Perymon-Evans, Executive Director of The Children's Institute of Hong Kong, highlights the importance of honest communication in fostering mutual respect and helping children gain a deeper understanding of themselves.
In her role as Executive Director, Dr. Perymon-Evans has devoted her career to supporting children with autism and their families, providing them with the tools they need to thrive.
"Teens who have been diagnosed have shared with me that the key is honest communication about what’s going on with them so they can do something about it. They feel less frustrated because they know what the problem is and have tools to solve that problem.” says Dr. Perymon-Evans.
Dr. Perymon-Evans also highlights the long-term benefits of early and open discussions: "The oldest child I’ve ever worked with is now 30, and I started with him when he was 18 months, so I’ve always been in his life. He is an outstanding husband because he knows how to communicate his thoughts and feelings better than most people as he was taught how to do it effectively since he was little."
Dani Jonsson is raising two neurodivergent daughters: Jazz, 21, who is level 1 autistic and 2E (twice exceptional), and Hannah, 18, who has level 2 autism and Kabuki Syndrome. Dani and her husband are also on the spectrum, though they have not been formally diagnosed.
“How did we tell our daughters about their autism diagnosis? Initially, we didn’t. I never wanted them to use it as a crutch until they fully understood what it was. Instead, we decided to speak to the girls about the fact that they thought differently and saw the world differently. I didn’t see the condition as a problem, and we wanted them to accept themselves as they were.”
Dani also faced cultural challenges when addressing autism. “My father is Chinese, and my mother is African White. In Asia, autism brings dishonor on the family. Everyone pretends everything is perfect. Until recently, my parents accused me of being the cause [of my daughters’ autism] and would say our kids were weird because we homeschooled them.”
Despite these obstacles, Dani focused on empowering her daughters to advocate for themselves and embrace their identity:
“One of the biggest things about autism is teaching kids how to advocate for and protect themselves.”
Borja Sanchez’s son, Kuugo, is five years old and was recently diagnosed with autism. Kuugo has a basic level of speech, and the family is adjusting to this new chapter in their lives.
“[Since the diagnosis], I’ve been feeling sad, scared, and angry, and I am worried that my son won’t understand what his diagnosis means if I discuss it with him. I think he will also feel the same emotions as I do and maybe also confused or other negative reactions – and I will need to be ready for that. I know I will need more patience, and I will have to be able to express our support as a family as much as we can.”
Borja has already started explaining autism to his older daughter, who is nine years old, to help her better understand her brother. “My nine-year-old daughter sometimes asks what is wrong with her brother, so I’ve explained to her that Kuugo is autistic, which means he has a different way of processing the world and expressing himself.”
Dr. Perymon-Evans emphasizes the importance of framing a child’s differences as part of what makes them unique and special. Instead of saying, “You have autism,” she suggests using affirming language such as, “You are special in a different way; your brain works differently, and that’s perfectly okay. It makes you really good at some things, but it can also make other things harder.”
Using positive, simple language, as Dr. Perymon-Evans advises, helps children feel accepted and valued. This approach sets the foundation for self-confidence and resilience. Celebrating their uniqueness can encourage them to embrace their strengths while understanding and navigating their challenges.
The stories of Dani and Borja highlight the uniqueness of every autism journey. While no two experiences are the same, their stories reveal universal truths: the value of honesty, the transformative power of reframing autism as a strength, and the importance of teaching children to self-advocate.
